Why Boys Fight

I had never really understood why boys fight each other so much. I always thought it was just a kind of barbaric entertainment. But recently I realized that it actually has something to do with our development.

When I was a kid, my brother and I did not get along. Imagine getting along, and now imagine the opposite of getting along. That’s where we were. He was really annoying and I was really mean. I would hurt him, and he would throw a fit and run to my mother. Sometimes we played together, but the next day he would go back to being annoying and I would go back to being mean. We carried on in like fashion from the day he could talk until the day I left for college.

Many months later, I came home for the holidays. My brother challenged me to a duel. He produced the pair of durable plastic lightsabers which the two of us had fought with on several occasions. Of course, I obliged.

It was a chilly day and it had recently rained. It seemed a miracle that all the water hadn’t frozen. We decided to carry out the duel on our trampoline, because being able to jump five feet in the air adds a little spice to any brotherly confrontation. The moment we stepped onto that spongy surface, our socks soaked up a few teaspoons of frigid water and our feet were numb.

We crossed blades. We jumped really high. We wished there was an orchestra and choir belting out “Duel of the Fates” in our yard. However, just when things started to get exciting, I accidentally brought my blade down on my brother’s hand. He yelped. There was blood coming out of his knuckle. He bent down on his knees in a position that was oh, so familiar to me; he was going to cry and the fun was going to be over. I sighed and bounce/jumped towards him to begin consoling and/or talking my way out of trouble.

But at my approach, he looked up. There were tears in his eyes, but he wasn’t crying. I saw in his face that he had made a decision. He wasn’t going to mom this time; he wasn’t going to let me win that easily.

He clutched his weapon and came at me. It hurt pretty badly. I whipped my sword around and brought the fight back to him. After that, many more blows were landed. A few more drops of blood soaked into the trampoline fabric. We swung and parried as fast as our tired and frozen arms could manage. It was exhilarating. I knew that whatever I threw at him, he could take and then give back. I also knew that he wasn’t going to give up and hide behind our parents. Now we were ourselves and nothing more.

We finally went inside when the sun set and our numb fingers couldn’t hold the lightsabers anymore. Mom certainly didn’t understand why we did it, or why we dueled again many more times on my visits home, but we knew and that’s all that mattered.

On Social Sciences

The Social Sciences are fighting a losing battle. The purpose of the entire department is to understand the complexity of mankind, which has proved to be a preposterous and impossible goal. The male members of society have sought to understand the other half of mankind for thousands of years, with about as many results as you can fit inside a jelly jar.

Nevertheless, this field of academia trudges on. And just when you thought they had finally trudged themselves into admitting that the trudging was all in vain, someone wrote an article on the nature of trudging and how it was final undeniable proof of the innate nature of capitalism. This of course sparked enough debate to walk the entire field of study down exactly thirteen rabbit trails and through a parking garage, right back to where they started.

Many have pondered how a being as simple and lethargic as a human can be so blasted difficult to predict. In order to answer this question, all the most esteemed authorities in Social Sciences were invited to a conference entitled: “How Trudging is actually a Marxist Idea.” The title was, of course, a ruse to ensure a good turnout.

The Sociologists insisted that humans are complex because the presence of other humans compounds their potential for complexity. In order to put a stop to this, they insisted that it would be best if humans were genetically engineered to have a second nose instead of a mouth, thus rendering it impossible for them to speak, form communities, and create behavior too complex for the social sciences to explain. The Genetic Engineers were, of course, not present at the conference, however they were soon sent a request for double-nosed humans. If any success was made, they did not (or could not) speak of it.

The Psychiatrists declared that all humans are actually terribly afraid of their own bodies. This makes them appear complicated because they spend all their time trying not to think about how scary it is to be themselves. They suggested that the best solution would be to force all humans to watch “Friday the 13^th” at the age of three. Then people would spend the rest of their lives more terrified of everything external to their existence than they were of being themselves.

The Historians insisted that it is mankind’s ambition that makes him complex. Tens of thousands of years ago, Caveman frowned at his humble cave and longed for something more. He decided that day to dedicate his life (and the lives of his descendents) to inventing language, building civilization, developing theories of Reciprocity and killing other people with rocks. Thus, Caveman began his bloody campaign towards complexity and mastery of his environment. The Historians cared more about Herodotus’ left knee than they did about future or present events, so their solution only consisted of some scribbles of stick people with little spears in the margins of Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War.”

Nobody ever heard what Philosophers thought, because they were the only ones to realize that it was impossible for them to find the answer to such a question while being themselves human. They skipped the conference and used their stolen time to ponder the relationship between the physical and spiritual nature of the human experience. Onlookers claimed that they were actually dropping cherry bombs down manholes in quiet neighborhoods. Nobody really minded their absence because the philosophers asked frustrating questions and ate more than their share of the deviled eggs.

In reality, all of these theories were wrong. The real reason that humans are so complicated is a secret, but I can tell you this much: it has a lot less to do with people themselves and a lot more to do with deviled eggs.

Letter on the Fridge in the Abandoned Bunker

Neighbor

I left, but don’t worry your little head

I’m safe now

We all are

Should I stay this way?

Fifty or forty meaningless years later

In some bunker

Closets full of food

Medicines spilling from the cabinet

What I am doing here?

If I’m meant to cling to dust?

Like you do

Like you always do

Dust only stains my hands

And when I loose everything

Falling through fingers

Air from my lungs

A raindrop on the street

What will you say?

How will you console me?

Stay safe. Keep them safe.

But what will I do?

What will they do?

We’ll all be dead

We’ll all be dead

How will you console us

From your coffin?

CracksInYourFloor

On the bathroom shelf

Beneath the towel I used to dry my face

* * *

I let myself melt through the cracks in your floor

Where your tears lead me

To the source of your pain

In my dreams, I can snuff them out

In my thoughts, I can carry you through

I can wipe away the blackness

And take the knives from their hands

The curses from their lips

And yours

I know I am helpless

No amount of mental electricity

Can quench the fires

Can carry you home

So I will cry to the infinite skies

From your living room

Where the merciless carpet

Soaks up every drop

As if it never came

You’re dry, I’m melting

And life is escaping you

In Defense of Disney Villains #2

This is the second installment for my defense of Disney villains.

There is a consistent bias in Disney movies. Then hero/heroine's motivations are always presented as superior to those of the antagonist. They assume that the hero/heroine is justified in their actions, while at the same time completely failing to consider the motivations of the villain!

I will again attempt to present the motivations a Disney villain in a fair and unbiased manner.

Gaston: (Beauty and the Beast)- Just a romantic family man

Gaston had a simple dream. A wife. Children. Some pets. To fill France with beautiful people (now seriously, when is that a crime?). He had money, good genes, the respect of his peers; all that he had left to achieve was marriage to a beautiful woman.

This dream was crushed when the one woman he found truly beautiful turned him down flat. He tried everything he could think of to woo her, but she claimed that she would rather read her books and hope for "adventure."

Gaston's love for her was strong, and he refused to leave her to become a lonely spinster. He sought her out again, while at the same time offering to give her father the psychological assistance he so desperately needed. It was then that the sad truth was revealed: the woman he loved had succumb to the delusions which she had obviously inherited from her father. She was in love with an animal! He did what he knew he had to do in order to save her. He faced her delusions head on.

Gaston was no villain. He was man with simple desires who was willing to do all that was necessary to earn the love of a woman. And what spells love like whipping a village into a riotous frenzy and storming a castle in order to murder a creature who offers no resistance?

Seven Deadly Sins: Gluttony

I'm going to continue posting about some of the seven deadly sins. I've chosen another sin which I believe is usually misunderstood/ignored.

Heaven knows why I care about this stuff so much...

Gluttony
"All I want..."
Gluttony is placing too much value on physical feelings. It pushes you to get the feeling again, again, again. The action which creates these physical feelings was originally beneficial (i.e. eating), but gluttony twists this simple act past its beneficial intentions.

Gluttony doesn't always come in large portions though, it can take the form of luxury as well. As C.S. Lewis suggests in "The Screwtape Letters", it often takes to form of "all I want." "All I want" is tea at exactly the right temperature. "All I want" is an egg properly boiled.

While it might seem that this is un-gluttonous, thinking this way means you are still placing excessive attention on a physical feeling. You are valuing that perfect feeling, rather than the nutrition of the food or the feelings of the cook.

Don't think that gluttony only applies to food either. Remember, this is any physical feeling.

In Defense of Disney Villains #1

I love classic Disney movies. But I have become increasingly aware of a consistent bias in these films.

Hero/heroine's motivations are always presented as superior to those of the antagonist. They assume that the hero/heroine is justified in their actions, while at the same time completely failing to consider the motivations of the villain.

In order to right this grievous wrong, I will attempt in these blogs to present the motivations of several villains in a fair and unbiased manner.

Governor Ratcliffe: (Pocahontas)- Dedication to country

The fifteenth century had just begun, and all the world's greatest powers rushed to the New World to lay claim to it and its resources. England was falling far behind her competitors. How could this nation maintain her greatness? With the help of great men, willing to leave their home and comforts behind to brave oceans, disease, and deadly natives to save England from obscurity. Men like Governor Ratcliffe!

Once they landed in the New World, he watched as his crew slowly lost sight of their goal. How could he achieve fame and glory for his nation when his men wanted to drop everything over some teenage tree-hugging native? Even in the face of opposition, his dedication to country gave him the clarity of mind to make the unpopular decision and attempt to wipe out an entire tribe of peace-loving Indians.

Seven Deadly Sins: Greed

I've decided to start writing blogs about one of my other interests which I spend a lot of time thinking about.
The Seven Deadly Sins.


(It may seem odd to be fascinated by something so negative. It probably is. However, I have found that understanding this has helped me find sin in my life which I hadn't even thought about before. It's all very challenging.)


First off, I'd like to write about one which I think is most often misunderstood.

GREED

"Keep a hold. Don't let it go. Don't ever let go."


This has often been mistaken for lust. While lust over-values aquiring things, greed over-values keeping things. And these don't have to be physical things. Oftentimes it is information or time that greed latches on to; it doesn't want to share with other people.

If there is something which you think you can not live without, you've found greed. Greed avoids risk or adventure as a way to prevent this loss. I learned this from C.S. Lewis' Narnian Chronicle: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, during which an exploratory voyage is constantly assailed by temptations to turn back or stay put in order to prevent the loss of their lives or possessions.

Eventually greed becomes obsessed with clinging to the temporary trappings of this planet. A greedy person, and their possessions, become completely useless.